I was mainly a covert stutterer (I could hide my stutter really well), but in certain situations and with certain people I was extremely overt (I stammered severely). These were challenging speaking situations for me.
I’m from Hungary and I moved to London for one main reason; to work on my speech (I have a stutter/stammer). I am now settled in London and working on my stutter.
I joined the McGuire Programme in March of 2016, which was my first course.
Last weekend I visited my homeland Hungary for the first time since I joined the McGuire Programme. In Hungarian, I was mainly covert (I could hide my stutter really well), but I had certain situations and certain people when I was extremely overt (I stammered severely). These were challenging speaking situations for me.
One of those bad speaking situations was speaking with my family, especially with my aunt (never understood this, since she is lovely). I got to a point when I could not even say a single word. Basically, I have never had a normal conversation with them in my life.
When I was talking about the McGuire Programme with my cousins they said: this is all good, but you know what would be the biggest achievement? If you could speak with your aunt. And I knew that, too. In fact, I did not want to rush to visit my family because I wanted to make sure I was strong enough.
So this visit to my aunt happened last weekend. For the first time in my whole life, I could speak whenever I wanted and I could say whatever I wanted. I did not have to tell them about my stammer I do not find it very useful generally with friends and family because they know that I stammer anyway.
In the beginning, I used the techniques and talked about normal things, like what my life is like in London. I did not have a single block (a stuttering block). Then afterwards, I told explained all about the programme, the techniques, the breathing, the basic cycle, contacts, the psychological side, what I felt like before I joined the programme and the challenging speaking situations I faced daily.
We never talked about my speech before. I explained all about the course and what’s involved, that on my first day, they recorded a video of me and I could not even say my name and on Sunday (after 3 full days, I gave a speech in front of an audience, that included my best friend and brother.
At that point, I started to cry and basically, every female member of my family was crying. All those years of frustration, fear, isolation, and misunderstanding just disappeared. It was a very emotional but happy moment.
I’ve been on the programme for 7 months now (2016), and I have had my ups and downs and challenging speaking situations, but I keep up the good necessary work and work hard on maintaining it. But if only for that Saturday it was all worth it!
My cousin’s wife said: “The biggest achievement is when you defeat yourself and your fears.”
Also, my 81-year-old grandma could see me speak eloquently instead of not saying anything or stammering badly. This really meant a lot to me. My aunt said I spoke more in their house on that day than ever before during my 26 years.
I just want to say thank you to everyone in the programme for helping me to achieve this, which I could have never been able to before the programme.
Especially a BIG THANK YOU to Sam Dowsing my personal McGuire Programme coach who I call every day to practice and work on the techniques and who keeps me moving forward. I will never be able to express how much I appreciate your help!
